


She Is the Healing, I Am the Pain

by fantasyworld



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Angst, F/M, Introspection, Scars, birthday fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-22
Updated: 2016-01-22
Packaged: 2018-05-15 14:04:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,143
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5788030
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fantasyworld/pseuds/fantasyworld
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>And if loving her is<br/>Is heartache for me<br/>And if holding her means<br/>That I have to bleed<br/>Then I am the martyr<br/>Love is to blame<br/>Cause she is the healing<br/>And I am the pain</p><p>Birthday Fic for linverno-soldato on tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	She Is the Healing, I Am the Pain

**Author's Note:**

  * For [brooklynnbros](https://archiveofourown.org/users/brooklynnbros/gifts).



> Happy birthday, Ely! I hope you enjoy the fic. I tried to incorporate the feeling of the song, with a little angst/introspection on Adrien's part.

The light flicked on as bare feet padded across tile. With a flick of his wrist, the showerhead roared to life. Adrien Agreste stared at his own reflection in the mirror before it started to fog. He was honestly surprised by how few of his injuries actually reached his face. Or even his arms, for that matter. It was something he always counted himself fortunate in. People would start asking too many questions if he walked into school with a black eye. Never mind how his father would react if all of these secret super heroics interfered with his modeling career. Adrien pulled the t-shirt over his head, wincing as his muscles protested every movement. That was where the majority of his injuries resided—along the entire expanse of his back.

There was the pale mark in the awful shape of a handprint, from Timebreaker. It was strange because Ladybug had only told him of how it had actually appeared, in her version of events where he actually died. It always left an uneasy feeling in his gut when he thought of it, and he wished the handprint had never appeared. Maybe it was a warning for what _might_ have happened? Adrien wasn’t sure. He didn’t like to dwell on it too much—didn’t want to think of a world in which he wasn’t there to protect His Lady.

Then there was the starburst-shaped scar in the middle of his spine that he only remembered the impact of and nothing afterwards. That was from their encounter with Dark Cupid. He’d been just about to tell Ladybug how he felt about her, and then, like always, protected her from the arrow being shot at her. It hit him instead, and all memory he had faded away until she had somehow broken the spell. Adrien wasn’t sure _what_ had happened, but from the way Ladybug was so on-edge around him in the weeks following the incident, he could tell it wasn’t good. Plagg remained unhelpfully silent about the whole matter, which really didn’t help to ease his fears. He’d tried to hurt Ladybug, he was sure. And that was what kept him from trying to confess to her a second time.

A bruise here, a scratch there, several more scars along his back. There were some things that even Ladybug’s Lucky Charm couldn’t heal. It was nothing short of a miracle that he hadn’t had to do any modeling without a shirt on since taking the name of Chat Noir. Perhaps a little of His Lady’s luck was rubbing off on him.

Adrien finished undressing and ducked into the shower, hissing as the hot water poured over some of the still-open wounds he’d received during the day. The latest enemy had been tougher than usual. HawkMoth was definitely finding people with stronger negative emotions with each passing attack. Adrien feared it would only be a matter of time before he and Ladybug came across something they wouldn’t be able to handle on their own. And what if something happened and he wasn’t there? If she got hurt? Adrien wouldn’t be able to live with himself if that happened. His own feelings aside, she was _important_. If anything happened to Ladybug, there wouldn’t be anybody to cleanse the Akuma. She was more important than him. Adrien would take any attack thrown at him if it meant keeping Ladybug safe.

He stayed in the shower, even after getting clean, until the water started to run cold. At that point, he finally shut it off, stepped out, and wrapped a towel around himself. From the other side of the bathroom door, he could hear Plagg whining that he’d “been in there for _hours_.”

“If you’re hungry, just sneak into the kitchen,” Adrien called out. It wasn’t like Plagg hadn’t done it a million times before.

The mirror was fogged up, but that didn’t erase the marks that marred Adrien’s body. He wondered briefly how long he’d be able to keep this up: the hiding, the secrets, the scars. Sooner or later, people would see them. People would put two and two together. Ladybug never wanted to learn his identity, or reveal hers, and Adrien was beginning to wonder if this was why. Because the moment she saw him, she wouldn’t be looking at Chat Noir. She would be looking at Adrien Agreste. The broken, scarred, incredibly lonely boy despite the friends he’d managed to make at school. He often wondered who Ladybug was beneath the mask. He couldn’t picture her as anything _but_ the strong, confident girl he fought alongside on a near-daily basis. She was kind, compassionate, more than capable, and nothing short of beautiful in his eyes.

Adrien quickly threw on a pair of sweatpants and a fresh t-shirt to hide his scars before opening the bathroom door, steam bellowing out into his bedroom. He was met by a suddenly distressed Plagg flying straight up to him and gesturing towards his computer, where the LadyBlog was still open. A new video had been posted, and Adrien cursed his luck when he saw Ladybug bounding around Paris with a new Akumatized citizen hot on her feet. The video was only a couple minutes old. He could still get there in time.

“Plagg: Transform!”

* * *

 “Mission accomplished!”

Adrien couldn’t help the way he held his free arm over his abdomen. He’d taken a nasty hit in the fight that was sure to leave an even worse bruise as it healed. The only good news is that it didn’t look like he was going to have another scar as a result.

“Chat Noir, you’re hurt!” Ladybug exclaimed when they pulled apart and he was still clutching at his side.

“It’s nothing, My Lady,” he answered smoothly. And it really was. So long as Ladybug wasn’t hurt, it was all worth it. All of the pain. All of the scars. He would take all of the pain for her, because she was the one who could heal Paris. The beeping from his ring and her earrings brought their attention back to their time limit. “We’d best go.” Ladybug surprised him by taking hold of his arm and looking up at him with so much concern in her brilliant blue eyes.

“Promise me you’ll be careful, and safe?” His heart swelled in his chest, and it was all he could do to give her a semi-confident nod and smile. She had such an effect on him, it was unbearable at times. Adrien made a point of kissing the back of her hand before answering, and was even more surprised when she didn’t push him away this time.

“I _purr_ -omise,” he answered. Ladybug rolled her eyes, laughed, and they both went their separate ways. On the way home, Adrien had the thought that he would do anything to keep hearing that laugh.


End file.
